Ah, happiness. That oh-so-elusive element of life that we are searching for to the tune of more than $690 million worth of self-help books every year. To say nothing of the all-inclusive vacations to Mexico and that strange fascination we all have with The Happiest Place on Earth. But is it happiness — that euphoric, glorious, pulsing excitement that surges through us like a tidal wave?

Culture has conditioned us to think so. We are told in movies and radio ads and overenthusiastic Febreze infomercials that happiness is peaks of intense excitement — that trembling, count-down-the-days flutter you get before your first trip to Hawaii, or the butterflies in your stomach before your first date with your high school crush.

But every peak comes with a valley, both before it and after it. And in our constant, lifelong chase for the mountain peaks, we simultaneously drive our lives through twofold the amount of valleys — periods of lethargy, sadness, depression or emptiness.

That’s not to say that excitement is bad or that you should feel guilty for such moments. Rather, it’s important to know that excitement isn’t the true definition of happiness nor a marker of how happy you are. Nor should it be your end goal in your daily pursuits. Instead, we must be attuned to true, sustainable happiness and joy, which is found not in the steep mountain peaks, but in the rolling hills and sloping river lands. The landscapes of joy, if you will: A constant, never-ending field of contentment as opposed to peaks and valleys of emotions.

How to Move From the Mountain Peaks to the Fields of Joy

Right now, think back on some of the joyful memories you carry with you that still give you positive energy. For example, a rainy afternoon curled up next to the fireplace with a cup of tea and a book. Or a day of laying on the beach with your best friend and a few beers. These moments are the anti-definition of excitement, but have given you sustained joy long after the initial moment passed. In contrast, many of the most exciting events, like a well-deserved tropical vacation, leave you filled with even more longing.

Now that you’ve identified a joyful moment in your life, notice that it was not accompanied by an overwhelming rush of excitement. You probably did not jump and scream when given an afternoon with your book. And it’s likely that you didn’t even realize how joyful the moment was while it was happening. And therein lies the key.

Staying present. Recognizing the moment. It’s something that gurus and leaders discuss all the time, with many prescribing different ways of achieving “presence.” But it doesn’t need to be complicated. All you really need to do is notice every moment as it happens. No meditation. No chanting. No spiritual journaling. Simply look at a moment and say, “This is it.” Right now. And take pleasure in it, even in moments that previously seemed mundane. For example, recognize the blessings found in 10 seconds of peaceful respite at a red traffic light, and give thanks for the beauty in the sunrise on your morning commute.

You will be surprised at the level of happiness and joy that is available to you if you turn your view toward this present moment instead of being so focused on the future excitement you’ve been culturally conditioned to yearn for. And the more present you are, the more joy you’ll recognize. It’s like one of those photo illusions where once you see the hidden picture, you can’t stop seeing it. And there is an amazing level of happiness hidden in your everyday life.

It’s an incredibly pervasive urge: we are always trying to improve, and if we’re not, that’s something we should improve.

It’s everywhere. Where does this urge come from? It’s embedded in our culture — in the U.S. from Benjamin Franklin to the early entrepreneurial titans, everyone is trying to better themselves. It goes deeper, to ancient Western ideals of the perfect well-rounded person. But it flourished in the 20th century, from Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill to Stephen Covey. And now it’s in full bloom, with blogs.

So what’s the problem? You could say it’s great that people are constantly trying to improve themselves, but where does it end? When is anyone ever content with who they are? We are taught that we are not good enough yet, that we must improve, and so … we always feel a little inadequate.

This is true no matter how much you’ve accomplished. You might have achieved a thousand goals, but do you have defined abs? Are your boobs big and bouncy? Do you have perfect skin? Have you read every classic in literature? Do you know fine wines? Do you have success as an entrepreneur? Can you speak several languages? Have you traveled the world? Are you a fast runner, and have you run a 100 miler? Do you have the perfect home, and can you cook gourmet meals? Are you the perfect parent, or have perfect work-life balance? Can you do yoga, meditate, juggle and do magic? Do you brew the perfect cup of coffee, or tea, or beer? Can you recite Shelly, Shakespeare, Homer? Is your TV as large as mine, or your penis?

Are you adequate? Are you confident of that?

We are never adequate, never perfect, never self-confident, never good enough, never comfortable with ourselves, never satisfied, never there, never content.

And it becomes the reason we buy self-help products, fitness products, gadgets to make us cooler, nicer clothes, nicer cars and homes, nicer bags and boots, plastic surgery and drugs, courses and classes and coaches and retreats. It will never stop, because we will never be good enough.

We must improve. We must read every self-improvement book. When we read a blog, we must try that method, because it will make us better. When we read someone else’s account of his achievements, his goal system, his entrepreneurial lifestyle, her yoga routine, her journaling method, her reading list, we must try it. We will always read what others are doing, in case it will help us get better. We will always try what others are doing, try every diet and every system, because it helped them get better, so maybe it will help us too. Soon, we will find the ultimate solutions, soon we will get there. No, that hasn’t happened yet, but maybe this year will be the year.

Maybe 2012 will be the year we reach perfection.

Or maybe it will never stop, until we die, and that’s a part of life — life is a constant striving for improvement, and we’d hate to ever stop wanting to improve, because that means we’re dead, right? Even if that means that as we die, we wonder if we could have been better, and our last thought is, “Am I adequate as a person?” Even if that means we are never happy with ourselves, at least we are striving to be happy with ourselves, right?

What if instead, we learned to be happy with ourselves? What would happen?

Would we stop striving to improve? Would that be horrible, if we were just content and didn’t need to better ourselves every minute of every week? Would we be lazy slobs, or would we instead be happy, and in being happy do things that make us happy rather than make us better? And in being happy, perhaps we would show others how to be happy? And crazy as it might sound, maybe we’d start a little mini-revolution of happiness, so that people wouldn’t feel so inadequate, or need to spend every dime on products, or spend all their time on self-improvement.

A revolution of contentment.

Think of how this might simplify your life. Think of how many self-improvement books you read, or listen to in the car. Think of how many products you buy to make yourself better. Think of how many things you read online, in the hopes of being better. Think of how many things you do because you feel inadequate. Think of how much time this would free up, how much mental energy.

Realize that you are already perfect. You are there. You can breathe a sigh of relief.

The urge to improve yourself will come up again. Watch it, like a funny little clown trying to tease your soul, but don’t let your soul feel worse for the teasing. Don’t let yourself react to this little clown, nor feel the pain of his attack. Let him do his dance, say his funny things, and then go away.

Quash the urge to improve, to be better. It only makes you feel inadequate.

And then explore the world of contentment. It’s a place of wonderment.

‘Contentment is the greatest treasure.’ ~Lao Tzu