Have you ever noticed that sometimes, our greatest fears often come true?

See, it’s not because we are right in fearing that something bad will happen. Rather, our attitude pervades everything we do and we subconsciously end up working to make our fears happen — pouring so much energy and time into our fear and negativity that we actually cause it to manifest itself in reality.

Take this as an example: The young man who’s afraid of being alone in life. Thus, he latches onto any relationship with an iron grip, often emotionally suffocating his partners/friendships/lovers so much that he drives them away because he appears needy and has yet to learn how to be satisfied and happy with himself. Thus, his fear of being alone becomes true, creating a self-perpetuating cycle. Failed friendships and loves stoke his fear, on and on.

Or, try a more materialistic example: The woman who’s afraid of losing her job. Thus, her body image takes on a certain standoff-ish posture; her attitude at office meetings shifts ever so slightly; the way she interacts with her coworkers, and more importantly her boss, becomes defensive or angry or guarded. All these things create an unfavorable aura around her that leads to complaints from her colleagues, frustrations from her boss and, ultimately, dismissal.

The mind’s power is evident everywhere. Even pharmaceutical companies know this, with researchers carefully monitoring the power of placebo where fake drugs can often be just as effective, if not more effective, than the pills with active medicine in them.

What can you do? You can either scream “holy s#!*” or take a “holy shift.” Be aware of the fears you hold and the actions those fears may lead to. Be aware of the anxieties you possess, the negative energy and frustrations you may contain within your sphere of influence. Then, allow them to shift. Fear is real and fear is tangible, but you know what’s also very real? Your ability to shift this energy into a positive space.

How to holy-shift your way out of fear:

There are many ways. Try…

• …Simply acknowledging it. Often, we bury our fear under denial and compartmentalize it away. This doesn’t help us overcome it.  When you notice a fearful thought or a worried, anxious idea enter your mind, acknowledge it. Say to yourself, “I am fearful of losing my job” or “I am worried about my child’s health.” Sometimes, simply by acknowledging a buried, anxious thought, you release that thought and it dissipates.
• …Taking a small mental step to the left or right. Worries, fears and anxious thoughts are often like a big, fat red target in your mind’s eye. By taking a mental step to the side, you can get a glimpse of what’s behind that big target blocking your vision. Try and find something in that situation that gives you courage and boldness. In the science of neuroplasticity, scientists acknowledge that we retrain and rewire our mental thought patterns constantly. Shift your attention constantly to a positive truth in what seems like a negative situation, and every day you’ll shift yourself toward greater joy.
• …Allowing others to help carry your burden. When we are fearful or anxious, we often feel like we’re alone in our struggle. Having a new voice speak into the dark space can open it up with fresh air and renewing light. This could be a therapist, a spouse or a trusted friend. Knowing that someone else is helping you face a fearful moment can suddenly give you courage and boldness.
• …Letting it go into the universe itself. Often, we simply feel overwhelmed. There are situations around us that are sometimes bigger than humanity itself. Many people find themselves invigorated when they plug into the divine. Christians often talk about casting their burdens to God and allowing him to handle it. You could also invoke the support of your angel guides and spirit guardians who are always around you, protecting you and offering you a clear path through the madness. Try this classic prayer from the Catholic Church: Angel of God, my guardian dear to whom God’s love commits me here. Ever this day/night be at my side to light, to guard, to rule and guide. Amen.

Remember, there is NOTHING wrong with feeling worried or anxious. It’s a natural response to many of the things that happen in our lives. But don’t let your fear rule you, and most importantly, don’t let your fear manifest itself. Instead, use your power of manifestation to create the fruits of the spirit: joy and happiness and peace!

In the end, trust yourself and trust the journey. You’ve got this!

Do you want to practice rushing to your car every morning, or do you want to practice peace and serenity?

When we learn a martial art, or ballet, or gymnastics, or soccer, we consciously practice movements in a deliberate way, repeatedly. By conscious, repeated practice, we become good at those movements.

Our entire lives are like this, but we’re often less conscious of the practice.

Each day, we repeat movements, thought patterns, ways of interacting with others. And in this repeated practice, we are becoming (or have already become) good at these things. If you constantly check Facebook or Twitter, that is practice, and you are forming that habit, though it’s usually not with too much awareness.

When you smoke, or eat junk food, or speak rudely to others, or put yourself down internally, this is something you are practicing to be good at. You may already be good at these things.

What if, instead, we practiced consciously, deliberately, and became good at the things we really want to be good at?

What if you first, above all skills, learned to be more aware of what you are practicing? What if constant conscious action is the skill you became good at?

If you could learn to take conscious action, you could learn to practice other things you want to be good at, rather than the ones you don’t.

What Are You Practicing?

Ask yourself these things throughout the day, to practice conscious action:

• Do I want to practice rushing through my morning, or can I wake a little earlier and simplify my morning routine so that I practice a slow, enjoyable morning ritual?
• Do I want to practice checking my inboxes when I first get to my computer, or can I do something better?
• Do I want to practice leaving dirty dishes out, or can I practice washing my bowl when I’m done with it?
• Do I want to practice leaving clothes strewn about, or papers lying on the counter, or can I take a few seconds to put them where they belong?
• Do I want to speak angrily to my kids or spouse, or can I speak to them with kindness and compassion?
• Do I want to practice complaining and self-pity, or can I practice gratitude?
• Do I want to practice rushing and being busy, or can I practice simplifying and going slowly?
• Do I want to practice eating fried foods, sugary foods, salty junk food snacks, fast foods … or can I practice eating whole foods, vegetables and fruits, nuts and beans and seeds?
• Do I want to practice surfing time-wasting sites, or can I practice clearing away distractions and creating?
• Do I want to practice watching mindless entertainment, or can I practice moving my body and exerting myself in activity?
• Do I want to practice smoking, or can I learn a healthier way to deal with stress?
• Do I want to practice shopping, or can I practice giving?

These are only examples … your life will show you what you’ve been practicing, and you can decide what you might rather practice instead. Or you might be completely happy with what you’ve been practicing.

How to Practice

The first step is always awareness. When you are conscious of what you are doing, you can decide whether this is an action or thought pattern you want to practice, or if there’s an alternative you’d rather be good at.

As you go through your day, practice this awareness. It’s the first skill, and it’s the most important one. Be aware, without feeling guilty or angry at yourself, of what you’re doing and thinking. You will forget to to this, but remind yourself. You might wear a rubber band around your wrist, or carry a talisman, or make tally marks on a slip of paper each time you remember.

As you get good at conscious action, start to practice those actions and thought patterns you want to be good at. Start to notice the ones you’d really rather not be good at, and see if you can deliberately practice other actions and thought patterns.

As you consciously, deliberately repeat these things, you’ll get better at them. It takes a lot of repetition to get good at a skill, but you’ve got time.

Important Conclusions

You won’t be able to change all your habits at once, and I’m not implying that you should try. The habit you’re really changing is consciousness, and practice. Other habits will be difficult to change, especially if you’re trying to change all of them, but it’s OK if you mess up. Give yourself permission to make mistakes without guilt, and instead just deliberately practice again, and again.

If something is too hard, and you can’t get it right no matter how many times you practice, you can try it in smaller steps. If you can’t quit smoking, try not smoking once, and instead relieving stress through walking or doing some pushups or meditation or self-massage. If you can’t quit junk food, just replace one snack with a fruit, or add a tasty veggie to your dinner.

I’d like to emphasize that this isn’t about perfection. There is no perfect way of life, and you don’t need to strive to be perfect every moment of the day. I believe you’re already perfect. This is just about conscious action, which is a useful skill to have.

Remember that we become good at what we repeatedly do, and what we do repeatedly can be done consciously. It’s when we’re conscious that we are truly alive.

‘If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.’ ~Dalai Lama

Don’t let the worries and busyness of the day pull you away from yourself. 

Staying “grounded” and being self-aware in every moment isn’t something reserved for monks or New Age gurus. As school, work, family and other daily obligations tug and pull at your strings, it’s easy to lose your sense of balance. This opens you up to increased stress and anxiety, often over things that truly don’t matter and issues that you can’t change or control. By learning to find the positive in every situation, and discovering how to release the worries of both the past and the future, you can function at a higher, happier level in the here-and-now. And you don’t even need to chant an om. No New Age BS required!

1. Recognize the positives.

Often, when things get away from us, all we see in our narrow field of vision are the negatives glaring back. Counter this by naming ten positive things in your life, counting them on the fingers of each hand. It might be hard once you hit fix or six items, but that’s the whole point. It will force you, even in the most stressful of situations, to dig deep and find something positive — sometimes, something so small that you overlooked it before.

2. Recognize that this is it.

When our minds wander from the present moment, we start working on autopilot. That’s when negative patterns, stresses and habits become ingrained. Steer yourself back to the moment by telling yourself, “This is it.” This. This moment right here. Not the past, which has no bearing on now. And not the potential things in the future that “could” go wrong, because the future doesn’t exist. In fact, the future will never exist, so why worry?

3. Recognize your emotions.

The final step — after becoming more aware of your positives and recognizing that this moment is all that counts — is recognizing your emotions. When you’re sad, angry, frustrated or feeling similar emotions, they often entrap our spirits and take on a life of their own. All of a sudden, you’re just angry. ANGRY! Beyond all rationale and thought. Instead, look at yourself. Ask, “What is going through my mind?” Then ask, “What emotions am I feeling?” There is a difference. The intellect is often aware of an actual primary stressor. Say, a late assignment in university. But your emotions are completely subjective. Learn to see that a situation may be unpleasant, but you have control over your response. Take a deep breathe, recognize that you may be facing a painful or stressful moment, but learn to greet and release those negative emotions.

What are your own ways to deal with stressful situations and moments that seem to just get away from you? Send me and the rest of the LIVE team a tweet at @LIVEhealthmag.