To take running as an example: I began running in the morning at the time just before the sun rises, and as I did my morning run, the sky became an amazing display of colors. I would look up at the sky as I ran, taking in this daily miracle, take a deep breath, and say to myself, “What a glorious day!” It was truly a celebration of life. The next morning, I would look forward to greeting the new day this way. It was a pleasure.

Another example: making your exercise or other activity a social activity can make it fun. You might go cycling with a group, for example, and chat with them as you ride. Or run with a group. If you do this, you don’t even realize you’re working out!

Yet another example: Let’s say you want to keep track of your expenses each day, or write every morning. Well, you could make a little ritual where you input your expenses in your spreadsheet, or write for 30 minutes, while taking in your first cup of coffee in the morning. Savor the aroma and flavor of the coffee, sip it slowly while doing the activity you want. Or it could be hot chocolate, or in my case fresh berries. Whatever would make the activity a pleasure.

If your goal activity becomes a treat, you actually look forward to it. And that’s a good thing.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, our greatest fears often come true?

See, it’s not because we are right in fearing that something bad will happen. Rather, our attitude pervades everything we do and we subconsciously end up working to make our fears happen — pouring so much energy and time into our fear and negativity that we actually cause it to manifest itself in reality.

Take this as an example: The young man who’s afraid of being alone in life. Thus, he latches onto any relationship with an iron grip, often emotionally suffocating his partners/friendships/lovers so much that he drives them away because he appears needy and has yet to learn how to be satisfied and happy with himself. Thus, his fear of being alone becomes true, creating a self-perpetuating cycle. Failed friendships and loves stoke his fear, on and on.

Or, try a more materialistic example: The woman who’s afraid of losing her job. Thus, her body image takes on a certain standoff-ish posture; her attitude at office meetings shifts ever so slightly; the way she interacts with her coworkers, and more importantly her boss, becomes defensive or angry or guarded. All these things create an unfavorable aura around her that leads to complaints from her colleagues, frustrations from her boss and, ultimately, dismissal.

The mind’s power is evident everywhere. Even pharmaceutical companies know this, with researchers carefully monitoring the power of placebo where fake drugs can often be just as effective, if not more effective, than the pills with active medicine in them.

What can you do? You can either scream “holy s#!*” or take a “holy shift.” Be aware of the fears you hold and the actions those fears may lead to. Be aware of the anxieties you possess, the negative energy and frustrations you may contain within your sphere of influence. Then, allow them to shift. Fear is real and fear is tangible, but you know what’s also very real? Your ability to shift this energy into a positive space.

How to holy-shift your way out of fear:

There are many ways. Try…

• …Simply acknowledging it. Often, we bury our fear under denial and compartmentalize it away. This doesn’t help us overcome it.  When you notice a fearful thought or a worried, anxious idea enter your mind, acknowledge it. Say to yourself, “I am fearful of losing my job” or “I am worried about my child’s health.” Sometimes, simply by acknowledging a buried, anxious thought, you release that thought and it dissipates.
• …Taking a small mental step to the left or right. Worries, fears and anxious thoughts are often like a big, fat red target in your mind’s eye. By taking a mental step to the side, you can get a glimpse of what’s behind that big target blocking your vision. Try and find something in that situation that gives you courage and boldness. In the science of neuroplasticity, scientists acknowledge that we retrain and rewire our mental thought patterns constantly. Shift your attention constantly to a positive truth in what seems like a negative situation, and every day you’ll shift yourself toward greater joy.
• …Allowing others to help carry your burden. When we are fearful or anxious, we often feel like we’re alone in our struggle. Having a new voice speak into the dark space can open it up with fresh air and renewing light. This could be a therapist, a spouse or a trusted friend. Knowing that someone else is helping you face a fearful moment can suddenly give you courage and boldness.
• …Letting it go into the universe itself. Often, we simply feel overwhelmed. There are situations around us that are sometimes bigger than humanity itself. Many people find themselves invigorated when they plug into the divine. Christians often talk about casting their burdens to God and allowing him to handle it. You could also invoke the support of your angel guides and spirit guardians who are always around you, protecting you and offering you a clear path through the madness. Try this classic prayer from the Catholic Church: Angel of God, my guardian dear to whom God’s love commits me here. Ever this day/night be at my side to light, to guard, to rule and guide. Amen.

Remember, there is NOTHING wrong with feeling worried or anxious. It’s a natural response to many of the things that happen in our lives. But don’t let your fear rule you, and most importantly, don’t let your fear manifest itself. Instead, use your power of manifestation to create the fruits of the spirit: joy and happiness and peace!

In the end, trust yourself and trust the journey. You’ve got this!

“Yield.”

“Stop ahead.”

Last week, my brother and I went on a snowboarding trip to Whistler, B.C. Along the way, we hit a lot of road construction and the requisite traffic signs telling drivers to take their time as they made their journey north.

And I got impatient. Don’t worry, I didn’t speed. But I might have found myself thinking that age-old question, “Are we there yet?”

I’ve found myself thinking that many times over the past few years on some of the bigger journeys of life. Have I arrived at my dream job? Have I made it to the ideal salary level? Have I gotten to where I want to be in my yoga practice? Is this where I want to live? Is this love? Is this me?

In our modern lives, we’re so focused on the end goal. The destination. The final result of the equation. The stopping point where “it all will make sense,” we tell ourselves. That’s fine when it’s about the hard, objective aspects of the universe (though these are much rarer than you might realize). However, when it comes to the grander paths of the universe – your faith walk toward your Christ, or your journey toward your true love, or your path to understanding your true Self in its truest fashion – an obsession with the end destination can actually create roadblocks in your evolution.

First, it sets up an artificial list of to-do items toward what you perceive as salvation. For example, you could pick up any self-help book and say, “Ah, these five steps will lead me to happiness.” Yet your perception as a human being isn’t the same as your perception as Being, so it’s highly likely that what you think you need to do, or even the place you think you need to end up in, is not entirely accurate.

Second, focusing on what you need to do spiritually to achieve your idea of Heaven or happiness or whatever it is you think you want will inevitably move your focus and attention off of your self toward an external Other that you think can provide your salvation. In essence, this is you creating an idol, and the Bible shows that all idols will fall in the end. The Bible teaches that salvation is a matter of working out your own faith. Not working through the faith prescribed by teachers or gurus or self-help books, but working through the personalized plan of growth and salvation and eternal joy that God has placed on you.

Third, treating spirituality like a set of actions or to-do items presumes that you are static, that your soul is static, and that we are all static in our similarity. Yet your soul is unique and alive, and your spirit is alive. In the Biblical tradition, God took what was static (your earthly body) and breathed Himself into you – a divine breath or cosmic spark that experiences this universe and moves you toward the divine or away from the divine dependent on your choices to follow the divine plan.

On my trip to Whistler, while the end destination was beautiful, my brother and I were awed by the serene views and ocean vistas we saw while on our journey. The same is true in your path through this universe. The best things that life has to offer often aren’t in the end destination. It’s the things you uncover along the way: the exciting adventures you embark on; the lovers and friends you meet; the lessons learned through sorrows, joys and the everyday experience; and the new ways of thinking that are unveiled only to you and through you as you move along the path.

So smile. Relax. Enjoy each passing moment for what it is, and don’t pressure yourself into thinking that you have to hit a certain list of criteria along the way to unlock the mystery. The mystery is simply the present Now, with God as the ground of your Being. When you realize that, you have tapped into your potential for infinite joy.

It’s an incredibly pervasive urge: we are always trying to improve, and if we’re not, that’s something we should improve.

It’s everywhere. Where does this urge come from? It’s embedded in our culture — in the U.S. from Benjamin Franklin to the early entrepreneurial titans, everyone is trying to better themselves. It goes deeper, to ancient Western ideals of the perfect well-rounded person. But it flourished in the 20th century, from Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill to Stephen Covey. And now it’s in full bloom, with blogs.

So what’s the problem? You could say it’s great that people are constantly trying to improve themselves, but where does it end? When is anyone ever content with who they are? We are taught that we are not good enough yet, that we must improve, and so … we always feel a little inadequate.

This is true no matter how much you’ve accomplished. You might have achieved a thousand goals, but do you have defined abs? Are your boobs big and bouncy? Do you have perfect skin? Have you read every classic in literature? Do you know fine wines? Do you have success as an entrepreneur? Can you speak several languages? Have you traveled the world? Are you a fast runner, and have you run a 100 miler? Do you have the perfect home, and can you cook gourmet meals? Are you the perfect parent, or have perfect work-life balance? Can you do yoga, meditate, juggle and do magic? Do you brew the perfect cup of coffee, or tea, or beer? Can you recite Shelly, Shakespeare, Homer? Is your TV as large as mine, or your penis?

Are you adequate? Are you confident of that?

We are never adequate, never perfect, never self-confident, never good enough, never comfortable with ourselves, never satisfied, never there, never content.

And it becomes the reason we buy self-help products, fitness products, gadgets to make us cooler, nicer clothes, nicer cars and homes, nicer bags and boots, plastic surgery and drugs, courses and classes and coaches and retreats. It will never stop, because we will never be good enough.

We must improve. We must read every self-improvement book. When we read a blog, we must try that method, because it will make us better. When we read someone else’s account of his achievements, his goal system, his entrepreneurial lifestyle, her yoga routine, her journaling method, her reading list, we must try it. We will always read what others are doing, in case it will help us get better. We will always try what others are doing, try every diet and every system, because it helped them get better, so maybe it will help us too. Soon, we will find the ultimate solutions, soon we will get there. No, that hasn’t happened yet, but maybe this year will be the year.

Maybe 2012 will be the year we reach perfection.

Or maybe it will never stop, until we die, and that’s a part of life — life is a constant striving for improvement, and we’d hate to ever stop wanting to improve, because that means we’re dead, right? Even if that means that as we die, we wonder if we could have been better, and our last thought is, “Am I adequate as a person?” Even if that means we are never happy with ourselves, at least we are striving to be happy with ourselves, right?

What if instead, we learned to be happy with ourselves? What would happen?

Would we stop striving to improve? Would that be horrible, if we were just content and didn’t need to better ourselves every minute of every week? Would we be lazy slobs, or would we instead be happy, and in being happy do things that make us happy rather than make us better? And in being happy, perhaps we would show others how to be happy? And crazy as it might sound, maybe we’d start a little mini-revolution of happiness, so that people wouldn’t feel so inadequate, or need to spend every dime on products, or spend all their time on self-improvement.

A revolution of contentment.

Think of how this might simplify your life. Think of how many self-improvement books you read, or listen to in the car. Think of how many products you buy to make yourself better. Think of how many things you read online, in the hopes of being better. Think of how many things you do because you feel inadequate. Think of how much time this would free up, how much mental energy.

Realize that you are already perfect. You are there. You can breathe a sigh of relief.

The urge to improve yourself will come up again. Watch it, like a funny little clown trying to tease your soul, but don’t let your soul feel worse for the teasing. Don’t let yourself react to this little clown, nor feel the pain of his attack. Let him do his dance, say his funny things, and then go away.

Quash the urge to improve, to be better. It only makes you feel inadequate.

And then explore the world of contentment. It’s a place of wonderment.

‘Contentment is the greatest treasure.’ ~Lao Tzu